you know.... today.... we had a scholarship presenting ceremony sort of thing....okay you know what.... i don't wanna talk about it.... it kills.... not only because it was boring.... but.... haih....
ya know.... today I got scolded by Ms.Phua my physics lecturer.... because we were "late" by 5 minutes.... when all our watches and handphones showed we were 1-2 minutes before time.... =.=.... but i don't blame Ms.Phua.... she's following her clock.... thats understandable.... and she as a lecturer needs to clarify things and not just... oh okay you're late go sit.... thats wrong.... anyway.... I'll have to move in earlier into class next time.... sorry Ms.Phua....
okay.... y'know....I realised.... Michelle isn't getting quiet after all.... sorry.... anyway.... its just me i guess.... or maybe it's just to me.... oh well....and btw, Michelle wore a dress today.... smart formal for the ceremony O_o.... seems she really dislikes wearing dresses.... forced to.... well.... she really doesn't look bad at all in it.... indeed looks quite nice.... O_o....
y'know.... I realise.... that i really cannot talk much.... or rather.... can hardly even talk to the someone....I guess what happened really did affect how things were after all.... I'm afraid.... what I've dreaded the most has come to me.... does things always have to happen like this?.... or is it only happening to me.... I just wanted to share what i was thinking of.... and after all this.... things ended up like this.... to be avoided.... to be ignored.... to be invisible to the eye.... to be turned away from every time you get close.... and to be like nothing at all.... and not be taken notice of at all.... is this really going to be the result?.... is this what I'm going to get?.... is this going to be like this?.... is it really wrong for me to share what i was thinking?.... just because of that.... do i deserve to be like this?.... do I??? DO I???.... it feels as if.... you opened a door.... hoping to find light on the other end.... but.... you end up finding nothing on the other end.... and the door shuts and closes behind you.... and you're left there.... on the other end.... with nothing at all....
is this just going to be another case.... where what I've come to share with others is going to create that wall in between.... is this going to be another case.... where what I've come to share with others only causes the bridge between to collapse and can never be built back?.... is this.... going to be the reason....for the 2 islands just side to side to drift so far apart....will this eventually end up as a pit hole waiting at the end?....Its so difficult.... to even start picking up bricks to build that bridge back because the other side makes sure that your bricks keep cracking and breaking apart.... its so difficult.... as when you try to pull yourself out from the pit hole....the someone pushes you into it.... its so difficult.... as the islands get closer to each other again.... they break into smaller pieces and drift away.... some of them.... never to be seen.... never to be heard.... and will never come back....
i tried this.... i tried that.... but every time i do so.... it not only shuts the door I'm trying to open.... but the door behind me closes as well.... i know very well that sometimes.... things are better left untold and untouched....as it can be poisonous.... but yet.... if you don't touch it.... you're burnt instead....
i really hope something....someone....or anything....will see this and guide me through the dark cave I'm in.... i hope that somehow.... the wall can be broken down.... the bridges return and stand strong.... the 2 islands come back together again....and the pit hole that awaits closes.... and i hope all these happens.... before anything serious happens.... before the very cave i'm in.... collapses.....
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