Thursday, April 17, 2008

Something more personal.... and i really dunno why..... tell... WHY!?!?!?

My previous posts are sien i know... sorry.... and it is getting worse and worse each time i update.... i really dunno why.... but i feel like i wanna express more but yet i feel restricted to do so.... so i end up filling the blog with recent happenings..... oh well...

Anyway... Michelle and gang proposed a trip to some Pulau for the coming holidays..... cool-ness.... finally a far away class outing.... can't wait for it... though there were some controversial on the budget =/.... We voted here and there.... and seems Ms Christine preferred Tioman over Redang... but she ended up not giving her own opinion and allowed the discussion to go on... =/... for me?... I've been to most of these places.... and Tioman, Redang or whatever is generally the same for me... yes there are some differences here and there.... but at last we will have roughly the same experience.... maybe certain islands have better corals... or some have better marine life... but hey.... we still got both!...

okay anyway.... if you ask me.... my personal choice would be Tioman.... why?... simply because i went there long long ago... and back then it was a very nice place..... then.... years later... the place became filthy and dirty because of tourism and lack of supervision... then again... just last year i went back there for a trip... and WOW..... they cleaned the whole place.... and the sea is literally crystal clear... well well..... lets just see....nevertheless... wherever it is that we end up going... it is fine for me.... just the trip with college friends itself will be more thrilling then the actual trip there.... seriously can't imagine what it'll be like when we get there..... =D

Anyway.... since i failed to achieve it and failed to spill it out personally.... let me say it here.... this morning.... i woke up... and the thought ran through me again..... hmm.....there and then i decided...... today......I'll try to prevent talking to someone.... just to test it out.... i really wanted to know....... and I was determined.... because many people have been talking about it and I've been denying it.... I don't really think it is true.... but the other side of me is still thinking.... is it really true?.... Am i acting out of my control?..... Weird-ness.....

It all went well initially... talking to Jia Shen and Rohit and Vincent and also others.... until it came to the class trip discussion thingy...... and I failed.... i wanted to voice my opinion and suggestions....i was deeply into this trip thingy and i really wanna be a part of it... oh well.... so i thought... gah... never mind then..... I'll try again.... and it all went pretty well later.... managed to conceal much of my personality... and kept mostly quiet.... still reacting to those who initiated it... but hardly on my part to initiate it....damn it was tough.... until the end of the day.... though extremely difficult...I pretty much did it.... and i was trying to evaluate the situation.... keeping stuffs to myself..... i managed to do so until the final moment....where somehow.... when someone walked away.... my mouth uttered... bye.... uncontrollably..... and that was it.... i failed.... i really don't know why and how and what... but..... it really puzzles me.... i think i should get to know someone better...... its just... somehow i couldn't do it... i did it last time... but now?.... what is this? maybe i'm emo-ing like last time.... or maybe exam pressure.... oh well....

Anyway..... thoughts aside.... many have told me that this blog is getting really sien.... and i took those words for real.... and i really wish to improve it...... Shereena requested for pictures to be placed.... this is to hopefully enlighten the blog a little.... but oh man... i really do not wish to get random pictures out of nowhere and place them in.... i want something more interesting... something people can relate to.... something people will recognize.... or simply something people will appreciate and relate.... maybe its time to get a camera.... i'll decide =/

Btw, today after Lan class.... Ken and Yong Shen got into some weird frenzy... jumping up and down the theatre's floor steps... which were far apart.... Jia Shen and I later joined in.... and i leaped once.... and erm...yes!!!! .... success..... (okay i really did put this into the blog omg)

Poor Ernest..... he's truthfully inviting me to join capoeira.... and one side of me says... hmm.... and the other is like omg noooooooo............ but.... i dunno.... its like... i wanna go but i don't wanna go..... sounds really stupid but thats the situation i'm in every time i'm being asked..... really sorry Ernest..... i'll consider it... but it'll take some time.... things are revolving around and i really can't seem to get things straight...

Anyway.... please don't ask me about my personal stuffs.... i just wish to express them and do not wish to discuss them... really sorry..... and erm... tomorrow will be our chemistry CT2....and i look forward to it.... was pretty much confident... until Pn.Mahani said.... it is FREAKING tough... and boom.... morale dropped beyond description.... oh man.... anyway.. i wish good luck to all those who are taking the test tomorrow.... remember this... you can do it... if and only if you say you can do it....

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